IT AIN'T COCAINE ADDITION, RIGHT?

I cannot live without chocolate.

I have tried, repeatedly, to swear it off. I have completely emptied the house of all traces of cocoa. I have gone literally MONTHS without chocolate.

It does no good. It is my nectar, my elixir.

Besides, I just eat more of other bad stuff.

Today: Yogurt, Dairy Queen, toast with peanut butter and more yogurt.


And did I ever mention I eat at least one carrot each and every single day? It is at least a gesture towards the five servings of fruits and veggies that we are supposed to consume every day - while I am feeding the horses theirs, I always munch on one.

And that should provide the counter-balance for the chocolate... right?

(Now, everyone in chorus, repeat after me... "YEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!")

REWARD FOR GOOD DEEDS

You know what is great about taking a friend to a doctor's appointment, which then turns into becoming the proverbial squeaky wheel for her case - tracking down an empty bed so she can be relieved of some of her pain - rounding up competent nurses and then a proficient physician - wheeling to and from x-rays - getting a good strong shot of crucial drugs and a prescription for enough pain killers to get her through the next two days until they figure out what is causing the excruciating pain - guilting a unoccupied solider and an unsuspecting husband into assisting you getting the justifiably stoned friend into and out of your vehicle and safely home ---- and THEN having to race to a church function and an additional hour long presidency meeting --- and last but not least coming home to unloaded groceries, unwashed dishes, unfed animals and unemptied garbage.....

You never have a chance to eat.

Today if nothing else has been a successful day for my diet.

SOMEBODY HELP ME OUT HERE

I'm trying to stay off the scales, and judge my weight by how I feel, how my not-at-all-skinny jeans fit, and how often I suck in my gut to tighten my belt.

But I figure, hey, it's been a while, let's see what the scales say.

And they say THE EXACT SAME NUMBERS THEY DID LAST TIME.

So I am sitting here with a bowl of chocolate trying to convince myself that I should remain true and faithful to yogurt and carrots and drinking lots and lots of non-caloric sodas.