SHOULDA JUST BURNED A SCENTED CANDLE

Dieting Rule No. One: Do not make a large pan of double-chocolate brownies when you have no one else to share it with just because it's a cold cloudy day and you'd like to have some good warm smells in your house.

ON THE ROAD TO FIND OUT

WAYS TO BURN CALORIES:

- Walking

-Talking While Walking

- Picking Up Trash Along The Highway

- Chasing Animals Who Are Determined Not To Come When Called

- Vacuuming

- Moving Furniture To Vacuum Under Furniture

WAYS TO NOT BURN CALORIES:

- Twist Your Ankle While Walking

- Talking While Not Moving

- Discovering A Buried Road Sign That Reads "Proposed Annexation" And Spending The Next Ten Minutes Uncovering And Cleaning It

- Watching Animals On The Distant Horizon Still Running Away

- Sitting On The Floor Unclogging The Vacuum Filter

- Laying On The Floor After Taking 27 Ibuprofen For Your Wrenched Back From Moving The Hide-A-Bed Couch In Order To Vacuum Underneath

GET LOST

Does anyone know if it is true that President Obama's State of the Union address was rescheduled because it was going to be the same day and time as the season premiere of "Lost"? Or is that just the latest urban myth?


Okay, back to getting lost.

There are a couple of good things about getting lost.
Unfortunately, the simple recognition that you are off the path is sometimes one of the most difficult.


And the second step is wanting to get back on the path.

A lot of people don't realize they are lost, and are perfectly okay with that. Some people are lost, but when shown the way back, are scared to try it again. Some people stray off the path, give up on themselves, and try to get further and further away.

Okay, this wasn't headed towards being notes from Psychology 101.

But I've got a free week.

And I am trying to decide if I want to use this week to get way off the path - that may be the only way to recognize if I might perhaps be on not the best path.

Now - a prize to the first reader who can translate this rambling into 24 words or less.

And the timer begins.... NOW.

EYES SHUT OPEN

You know how a little kid will shut his eyes real tight and believe then that somehow you can't see him?

I've been ignoring this blog because I am embarrassed that I haven't lost any weight.

I haven't gained any, but I seem to have hit a plateau.
And I'm discouraged - not just about weight, but many minor, insignificant things are hitting me much harder than they should be.

I kinda wish I still had a uterus to blame all this on.

OCULAR EXERTION

Today was a lot of visual exercise.

I watched our preferred waitress in our Saturday morning breakfast cafe racing around doing her regular exemplary job of handling numerous and demanding customers... and yes, that includes me with Diet Coke refills. (And no, she doesn't look anything like that, but isn't it a fun photo?)

Several women in Target had many many more than the 2.3 average of children hanging on to their shopping cart, hands, and/or siblings winter coats.

And the new and rather naive employee at my feed store loaded the nine bales of hay most recariously in my truck bed; however, he did allow me ample time to read four chapters of the last Harry Potter book.

Whew - I'm exhausted.

Perhaps I am also more aware of simply seeing things happening. What's the song lyric, you don't know what you have until it suddenly is threatened to be gradually removed from your abilities?

Something like that.

IS THIS CHEATING?

So often my blogs seem to be intertwined - maybe it simply proves how much of life is involved with trying to get in shape.

At least I referring you to my other site - http://www.hopelds.blogspot.com/ - I am proud of discovering an extremely silly solution to three problems.

And if we can't make fun of ourselves, what fun is that?

HOW MANY CALORIES DOES DRIVING USE?

I've driven across the United States.

Literally.

More than once.

When my parents divorced, my dad moved back to Kalamazoo (isn't that a great name for a city?), Michigan and my mom stayed in Los Angeles.

When we lived in Maryland, we drove back to Oregon to visit my mother-in-law one summer - and my oldest child and I drove back to Idaho when she began college.

We moved from Maryland to Arizona - and I've driven to Seattle from here.

So a mealy little two hour trip to Douglas and back should be easy, right?

But somehow when the trip is preceded by having my problem-child come stay the night before (couch out, another person to feed, watching MTV videos) and then driving with her to the Social Security office in Douglas for a two-hour disability interview, driving BACK, dropping her off, finding out the prescription for my regular sleeping medication has NOT been approved by the doctor's office OR the insurance companies, so I am cetain to get only a couple of hours sleep tonight.....

I feel like I have lost ten pounds.... of brain matter.