THERE IS ONE BORN EVERY MINUTE

It's difficult to come up with an honest original idea.

Since I have agreed to publicly post my mass - er, tonnage - well, substantiality - my WEIGHT , I have been googling for diet ideas (something around here is gonna have to change before my ponderousness (hey, I like that word!).

I thought the idea of brushing my teeth each and every time I ate anything would help.

But RATS - Diet Aid Toothpaste is already available in the U.K. for only $12 a tube.

Then I found (honest-to-God) this website, which has (drum-roll here) A DIET FORK. I just loved the explanation: "The fork has shorter and duller which makes it harder to grasp food."

So I think I do have one concept that hasn't (yet) been properly exploited, and has the potential to make MILLIONS.

Grease your hands.

Constantly.

Sort of the same principle as wrestling a greased pigs - it will be difficult if not impossible to hold any eating utensil - even finger-food would be a problem.

And if you use disgusting enough, filthy grease, you won't even be tempted.

How much do you think I should ask for my 'starter' kit of WD40, Penzoil, and sharp metal filings?