THERE ARE THREE KINDS OF LIES

I blame my lack of posts for the past several weeks on the outrageous and flirtatious behavior of my scale.

It is one of those serious, large-digital ones that simply states what your mass at normal Earth gravity is. No ifs, no buts, nothing to misread or not understand (completely random side bar here - have you seen that commercial for a pregnancy test that states 30% of women MISREAD their results? Are there really a third of our gender who are that STUPID? It says you are pregnant or you aren't - how can you misread it?!?!).

But then my scale tries either to tempt me beyond my ability to resist or simply feels I need some additional encouragement.


Monday, it insisted that I had lost eight pounds.


And it insisted this REPEATEDLY - numbers not changing or blinking or even winking at me.


Eight pounds! WOW! This is GREAT.


It lied.


Or I gained eight pounds back in six hours - because six hours later, it went back to clinical detachment and stated, no, it wasn't true, you were right back where you were last week... and the week before.


And it probably doesn't help that this news sent me reeling straight to my hidden chocolate stash.