LOSE CALORIES IN YOUR SLEEP!

NEW! AVAILABLE NOW! ONLY AT PUBLICHUMILITATIONASADIETTOOL.COM!

The latest development in WEIGHT LOSS! We will GUARANTEE that you will LOSE WEIGHT while you are ASLEEP although you will be haunted by delusional nightmares that will cause you to sweat, shake and in other disruptive methods completely destroying any REM cycles you might ever have again in your life.

YES! This amazing new invention, discovered by a Tibetan monk (actually the advertiser's older brother who still deals in drugs from Tibet) and manufactured by an Amish community in Pennsylvania (who are actually Mennonites who have no trouble using technology to mass-produce these for aprx $.30 a piece) and shipped to you directly.

This product enables you to BURN CALORIES while you are sleeping peacefully in your bed at night and look horribly exhausted with dark circles under your eyes for the rest of your life, but you will be skinny.

Order RIGHT NOW for the special introductory price of only $19.00 a month for the rest of your life so you will be broke but again you will be skinny

FRIENEMY

My daughter introduced this new word to me this evening, and it fits something perfectly.

Food.

Something that keeps you alive.

Something that can kill you.

Sort of ironic, isn't it?

But at least I'm gonna die happy, right?