EQUINE BOUNDRIES

I have been walking my two horses a set distance now for a couple of weeks, and I obviously need to extend our little evening expedition by a bit.

There is only one problem.

Well, possibly two.

No, the first one is not Najale, my clinically-insane Paint.

Yes, he has jerked the lead rope out of my hand numerous times and taken off for the horizon.

But when he gets about 20 feet away he always stops, looks back at me with a "so, what, are you coming or what?" expression, and then allows me to walk right up to him and regain control (I think he's just very aware of the fact that since I feed him, by running away he might compromise his next meal).

No, my main problem is Sally, the mare.

Sally is a retired Thoroughbred who has also given birth to lots and lots of foals. Horses, like most mammels, come into season only a few times throughout the year so the babies will only been born in better seasons and not in the dead of winter.

Except for Sally.

I have owned her for almost seven years now, and I think she has been out of season maybe a couple of weeks for those complete seven years.

Which has made her an ideal brood mare, and a great baby-producer.

But it is like having (pardon the comparison) a teenage BOY always on the outlook for that one hot , hot chick.

No, that's stupid - a teenage boy always on the outlook for ANY hot chick.

Okay, reality here - a teenage boy always on the outlook for anything remotely SHAPED like a female.

Stop right here, Hope.

So when Sally, who is normally of a calm, obedient and tranquil nature, sees something that just MIGHT be the stallion she has been dreaming off (and this 'something' can be a cow, a yucca, sometimes even a large dog in the distance - her eyesight is pretty poor)...

Then Sally is immediately is transformed into a CRAZY hot equus caballus who is completely capable of thundering off for an illicit affair with a complete stranger.

And since...

1. One end of my road ends at a pasture with grazing cattle (which look amazingly like Sally's dream-stud), and

2. The other end of the road passes by a pasture owned by three horses (who, although they don't look as good as the cattle do, still get her pretty hot and heavy),

It is next to impossible to walk her past these lustful images without having another finger of mine broken, so I am committing to extending our walks in an unusual manner.

Doubling back and re walking the same path.

Let's see how the horses put up with this tomorrow.

Today: Yogurt x 2 -- 300
Fiber One x 2 -- 120
3 bites of my husband's chicken and rice (I think he added about 1/2 lb. of margarine - yuck) -- 200 (?)
Toast and Peanut Butter -- 130 + 376 ( I have to find something with less calories)
TOTAL -- 1,126

EATING TO STAY AWAKE

I am aware that a lot of my late-night "I AM STARVING" eating is just to stay awake for one more episode of "Firefly" on DVD (which, since it's on a DVD, there is absolutely no logical reason to need to stay up late to watch).

But since my sleeping patterns have gotten so convoluted (isn't that just such a cool word, convoluted?), I realize some of my "windfall" eating in the middle of the day is because I am getting tired.

So I am attempting napping instead of snacking.

Since I normally can only sleep 5-6 hours a night, I almost always sleep an hour or two after feeding the horses in the morning, and around 2 p.m. take a nap.

So far, I have been laying down for about 30-45 minutes late morning and around 6:00 p.m.

And it's helping.

Yogurt x 2 -- 300
Fiber One x 2 -- 120
Toast with Peanut Butter -- 130 + 376
Manwich -- 215
Hamburger Bun -- 140
TOTAL -- 1,281

CRUEL AND UNUSUAL TREATMENT

I have been sooooo good today. Really. No snacks, just ONE small smattering of chocolate chips (my logic is just a few keep me from eating a whole LOT), a lot of yogurt, extra walks (the greyhound has to have her own private walk first thing in the morning).

It was all going well and I was so proud of myself.

Until my son, who NEVER asks me to make anything for him, asked if he could have two grilled cheese sandwiches tonight.

I crumbled.

So...

Yogurt -- 300
Fiber One --120
GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH --670
1/2 container generic local brand ice cream -- 200
(because I felt so guilty about the grilled cheese sandwich - which makes sense to any other woman ever on a diet)

TOTAL -- 1,290

FORBIDDEN PLEASURES

Today was one of those 'oh yeah just a quick trip into town' that turned/evolved/developed into a MONSTER of a journey that involved HOURS of sweating, sitting in my truck, waiting for what was originally 'just to drop off the paperwork', alternating between should-I-keep-the-air-conditioning-running-and-waste-gas and OMG-it-is-at-least-100-degrees-and-I-am-going-to-die-IF-I-don't-get-something-to-drink-SOON.

And, just like you shouldn't go grocery shopping when you are hungry, you also should NOT walk through the frozen-food section when you are SWELTERING because then you can be seduced into purchasing ice cream for the first time in MONTHS.

I succumbed - I took it home - and it honestly did not even taste that good.

HOWEVER - I did NOT make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch - I did NOT make macaroni and cheese this evening - the only 'addition' I did was fresh strawberries added to my yogurt ('fresh' as in the very last little plastic basket of strawberries in the grocery store that my son bought me because he felt so guilty about not finding any Dannon-Fruit-On-The-Bottom for me).

Yogurts (probably 3) --
Fiber One --
Strawberries --

.... wait a minute, I don't have the calorie list on this computer! So let's guesstimate - 900?