AND THE NUMBERS ARE....

... exactly the same as last weight, but it means I got through Christmas week without GAINING any weight.

Must be all of that pumpkin pie.

A SIMPLE ADDITION

I get frustrated when my daily exercise ends up being walking the dogs once to the end of the road and back (granted, I do live in the country, and the end of the road is about a quarter of a mile) or working up a sweat by stretching a quilt onto a frame (I had no idea when I bought 7' sides that this particular quilt is almost 8' across, and it became a major struggle... with the quilt winning).

But I do spend probably 45 minutes a day simply waiting on our front porch for one or both dogs to complete their 'business' outside. Both of them have high standards of hygiene, and insist on going as far as they can from the house - and I normally am trying to be patient (especially for the greyhound, who cannot be left outside on her own - combination of no body fat and a habit to head west for the coast when not under close observation).

Yesterday, I realized I can use this time more constructively (literally) by doing calisthenics the entire time I am waiting.

Plus, if I have NOT lost any weight tomorrow when I weigh in (as fully anticipated, following Christmas), I can then blame it on MUSCLE weight gained.

AHA! Aren't I brilliant?!?

EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES

Let's see how we can explain away food on Christmas Eve:

Chinese take out - rice is good for you, chicken is good for you, and sweet and sour is... well, vinegar has phytochemicals that seem to hold real promise in lowering risk of many types of cancer.

Pumpkin pie - easy! It's really a vegetable!

Cool Whip - dairy, right?

Second helping of Cool Whip - well, Cool Whip is mostly water and air, so....

Third helping of Cool Whip - okay, hey, it's Christmas Eve, right?!

KEEP SHOVELING, THERE MUST BE A PONY HERE

I freely acknowledge that exercise needs to be part of any weight-loss program, but I am having a major problem right now finding something that I like to do.

Because if you don't like doing the exercise, you will sit on the couch and eat ice cream instead. I promise.

I really enjoyed running.... until my knees and ankles gave out. The health club routine helped... at least while I was working and in town fairly frequently and didn't have a 25 minute drive to the closest gym.

So now I have been alternating half-heartedly between yoga and sitting on the couch.

Until today.

And I may have found the answer.

This morning when I got up to feed Najale and Sally, it was snowing. Big beautiful flakes floating down.

But both horses were wet - filthy - and cold.

We have built a shed for them - but it is thin metal, with three feet open at the bottom of air flow.

So today? I shoveled - a lot - to fill in some of the gaps and make it a warmer and steadier shelter.

I am aching all over, but I'll bet I burned some calories.

SLOW BUT STEADY

I frankly did not think I would lose anything this past week (other than my mind and any hint of emotional stability) - but I lost one additional lb. (and why in heck do we use "lb." as an abbreviation? Look it up here, but it is sort of like metric - we should have switched to a logical format centuries ago).

So minus 9.5 so far.

Is that close enough to ten pounds that I can say I have lost ten pounds?

(And, just a hint here, the correct answer is SURE!)

HAPPY/MERRY/GOOD FAT/ALCHOL/SWEETS

Why do we have holidays stuffed with food or booze... or BOTH.

New Years - booze.

Valentine's Day - candy

Mother's Day - chocolates

Fourth of July - BBQ and hot dogs

Halloween - candy

Thanksgiving - massive feast

Christmas - ditto AND candy

Can we being to have HEALTHY holidays - ones that do NOT involve massive amounts of calories and fat, but perhaps fun activites, water and FRUIT!!?

Who's with me? I mean, after January 1st (we still have to eat Christmas dinner, don't we?)

BAH HUMBUG

This evening I attended a perfectly lovely Christmas party, with dinner and desserts.

I participated in much small talk, make several charming anecdotes, and graciously excused myself after approximately 90 minutes.

And I ate ONE bowl of warming soup, ONE small serving of peach cobbler with an EXTREMELY SMALL topping of a unique whipped substance of which I could have inhaled several gallons of.

Grinch, move over a bit - I'm getting pretty good here.

TRASH AS A GOOD THING

I am continually amazed by people who litter.

I try to not be judgmental about it - maybe it accidentally flew out their window as they were experiencing cardiac arrest, so they were completely unable to stop the hamburger wrapper, large soda cup, french fries holder and 2 cans of Budweiser from being strewn along the road.

But really, how many people or peoples can be having a major health issue on the same road for weeks at a time?

So today I tried to extend my walk to include a large garbage bag and a half-mile more to pick up all the crap that peeks out of the tumbleweeds along the adjoining roads to my house.

Unfortunately, empty aluminum cans, wrappers, and odd bits of plastic don't wear much, so I can't even claim the extra walk as weight-lifting (yeah, like I'm ever gonna look like this guy!)

Only lifting that excess of my weight as I walk.

But hey, it was something, right?

And this nice lady with the elephant wrote a very similar blog article about littering, and I'm including the photo because I think she looks a lot like ME!

WHAT A PRETTY FACE CAN DO

An old habit reared its ugly head again tonight.

I have been doing so well on eating slowly, and only eating small potions, that I naively sat down tonight to watch the pre-recorded NCIS episode.

With a half-full carton of Dryer's Chocolate Cookie Dough ice cream.

And, needless to say, I did NOT stop with only a cautious and reasonable amount.

I blame it all on Mark Harmon.

LABOR OR LATCHING?

THREE LBS.!

TOTAL OF 8.5!!

Hurrah ME!!!!

(But should I feel like I just gave birth, or like a slimy fish?!)

SHOULDN'T IT COUNT JUST AS A DAIRY PRODUCT?

Why is ice cream both so wonderful and so evil?

I had promised my family that Saturday evening, I would pick up Cold Stone Creamery.

I even got everyone to chip in five bucks apiece.

But after sitting on a metal folding chair for over three hours, the idea of driving an additional twenty minutes simply to get superb, ideal and rich ice cream mixed exactly as you would like it was overwhelming.

I elected instead to simply stop at the 24/7 convenience store right on the way home.

Thinking in some convoluted way that purchasing ice cream I really didn't like would magically reduce its power over me, I got two things of Dryer's.

It didn't work.

So although I could excuse one very small bowl last night, I have no rational excuse for having another one tonight.

And I weigh IN tomorrow morning!

FAT HEAVEN OR SKINNY HELL?





Although not raised, culturally, as a Latter-Day Saint, my body been decidedly Mormon and Orthodox Jewish since birth.


I never liked coffee (although I certainly tried), I can't hold my drink (or my head or any other part of my body when I drink alcohol), and my entire gastric system riots when I eat any pork.


But there several gray areas with LDS dietary rule.


Ultra-conservative Mormons feel that any drink with caffeine is somehow as evil as coffee. They also believe in voting Republican, watching Glenn Beck and Fox News, and never teaching a lesson with a tablecloth, flower arrangement and a hand-out.


Moderate Mormons think that you will not be sent directly to outer darkness if you are not a dead-dog Republican, you can drink Diet Coke as long as it's not in public, and you can watch Comedy Central on T.V.


Liberal Mormons see no problem with Mt. Dew, supporting human and civil rights, and supporting President Obama.


So here is my personal quandary.


I normally drink two Diet Cokes a day - discreetly, in private, in the dark of my closets (my bishop may be reading this blog).


Today I drank FOUR - and I know it was the reason I got by with less food.


So, the question is - should I be good and end up in heaven as a chubby cherub, or be a skinny woman who ends up in the Mormon equivalent of hell (which actually is the Democrat National Convention in an election year)?

EFFECT OF SEMI-FLUID ON THE HIPPOCAMPAL DOPAMINE RELEASE

I've been doing so well with the "not-eating-after-7-p.m." that I figured it was time to add something new (keep confusing that metabolism, girlfriend).

Have one liquid meal a day.

I have heard all the arguments against these type of diets - yes, you lose weight, but as soon as you begin eating again, it all comes back on.

And I have personally experienced not being to chew ANYthing for two months - it ain't fun, but I also lost around 30 lbs.... with the problem being there I had to gain 25 lbs. before they would do the surgery on my jaw.

But hey, just once a day, let's try soup for a meal - and then I can have my creamy tomato soup and not feel guilty.

So tonight - it's cold and blustery, so I have a bottle of water and one very hot personal-size soup. And then rushed off to my regular Wednesday church meeting....

With the sensation of an turbulent ocean being hit by a hurricane in my stomach.

I didn't realize 16 oz. of fluid could do that to you - but at least I haven't been tempted to eat anything else this evening - ugh, it's making me slightly nauseous just to have that thought.

And P.S. - that effect of semi-fluid diet breeding on the hippocampal dopamine release is actually a honest research paper... and yes, it makes no sense to me either.

AND THE TOTAL IS....

This past week I lost 2.5 lbs., so the total is 5.5

I'm happy with that.

Of course, I would be much happier with 45 lbs. gone, but if it was easy, we'd all be skinny, right?

HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?

I am trying to cope with a new wrinkle in my dieting system.

I have, for literally years, acted on the oft-quoted perhaps-urban-myth that many times our bodies are screaming "WATER" when we are hearing "FOOD"!

So I try drinking something before I actually eat something.

And I finally learned that milk shakes, slushies, and fruit-blend-special-drinks do not qualify as "water."

(But they sure do taste better.)

But now that an unusually cold winter has dawned on my south-east corner of a south-west state in the northern hemisphere (okay, Hope, you can stop now), I am learning a chilly fact (did you not get the message a few words back, girlfriend?).

Cold water just doesn't work.

And unfortunately, hot chocolate (200 calories if made with 2% milk) with four large marshmallows (an additional 200 calories), does.

Creamy tomato soup is slightly better; it's only 160.

But it's still not water, which has no calories at all.

Hot Tang is something I have not had in years; maybe that would work.

More tomorrow.

Unless, of course, it gets warmer here.

HEYLOOKAME!

This evening, I drank only water at my book club meeting, and did not take anything else from the beautifully laid out table of refreshments offered by the gracious hostess.

I drove home from town and did NOT stop at Dairy Queen for my regular medium twist ice cream cone.

And when I arrived home, I shared a carrot with Najale and Sally (well, actually, I ate one carrot as they chomped down about ten... and in about the same amount of time).

I just needed to brag to someone.