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Showing posts with label late night television. Show all posts
Showing posts with label late night television. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I WONDER WHY I STAY WHEN EVERYONE IS GONE



I think I have conquered one of my worse eating habits.

Snacking late at night.

I was raised in environment where The Tonight Show (the old one, with Johnny Carson, on at 11:00 p.m.) was early entertainment. The only concept of a curfew I ever remembered was being expected to call home if you were out after midnight.

Not to come home, but just call to say where you were.

It was not uncommon to have our dinner at 9 p.m.


And it went without saying that popcorn, crackers, tuna fish sandwiches, peanut butter straight-from-the-jar, ice cream sandwiches and large bottles of Dr. Pepper were consumed until the wee hours of the morning.

So I have been accustomed to going to bed with a hefty dose of carbohydrates - microwave popcorn, dry cereal or peanut butter on toast.

But for the past week two weeks, I have eaten NOTHING after 7 p.m.

Great.

But I'm also not sleeping.

So does insomnia burn up calories? And if so, how much?

Saturday, November 7, 2009

LOSE CALORIES IN YOUR SLEEP!

NEW! AVAILABLE NOW! ONLY AT PUBLICHUMILITATIONASADIETTOOL.COM!

The latest development in WEIGHT LOSS! We will GUARANTEE that you will LOSE WEIGHT while you are ASLEEP although you will be haunted by delusional nightmares that will cause you to sweat, shake and in other disruptive methods completely destroying any REM cycles you might ever have again in your life.
YES! This amazing new invention, discovered by a Tibetan monk (actually the advertiser's older brother who still deals in drugs from Tibet) and manufactured by an Amish community in Pennsylvania (who are actually Mennonites who have no trouble using technology to mass-produce these for aprx $.30 a piece) and shipped to you directly.

This product enables you to BURN CALORIES while you are sleeping peacefully in your bed at night and look horribly exhausted with dark circles under your eyes for the rest of your life, but you will be skinny.

Order RIGHT NOW for the special introductory price of only $19.00 a month for the rest of your life so you will be broke but again you will be skinny