LIVING ON THE EDGE

How bad can your diet possibly become?

Let's see....

A McFlurry
Tacos

Subway (which isn't terrible, but...)

And grapes with a spider's web inside along with the dead spider.

Yeah. Not good.

PUSHING THE EDGE

There are some things which actually are possible in life:

1. You can go without Diet Coke.

2. Life does not stop without chocolate.

3. And you can not be embarrassed by wearing outrageous red lipstick if you do not have any mirrors around and nobody tells you until you get home.

Yes, it is possible.

But I'd really rather not.

Yogurt + Fiber One

Spaghetti (which, eaten in the presence of missionaries, counts only as negative calories since you get a spiritual message at the end of it)

Salad (which counts as only a vegetable if you don't like the salad dressing on it very much)

TWO pieces of chocolate pie, but the second piece only because it was saved just for you

So that adds up to, what, 3 calories?

Now, this coming week - more exercise by more closely following my three year old granddaughter, who never seems to stop.

MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL

I guess we all have a personal image inside of us that doesn't necessarily conform to reality.

However, the shock of myself unclothed in a dressing mirror in Target was more than slightly alarming. And to compound the message, I had to ask for assistance to take OFF a shirt I was trying on - once I had it on, the short-sleeve sleeves (can you think of another way to say that?) were too tight to pull down off my arms without an arm free, and a Target employee had to help me.

So this evening I walked - twice - at a comfortable pace. Normally the difficulty I have is carrying on a conversation while doing anything energetically (I have lungs the size of sardines), but being at literally sea-level as opposed to home's 5,000 ft. altitude seemed to make all the difference.

Yogurt x 2

(Home-made) Enchiladas

A Hagen Daus ice cream (dessert c/o my grandson - who could possible turn that down?)
A extra large Coke by accident (I ordered a Diet, but....)

And I think that's it... at least I hope that is it.

BABY BABY

My oldest daughter is over six foot tall, blue-eyed, thick long brown hair, and is one of the most striking attractive women I know.

Tonight, she gave me four beautiful pairs of The Gap/Eddie Bauer quality slacks from her personal stash that have a beautiful 34-36 inseam, classic colors and impeccable style.

I probably should not mention that they are the ones she wore during her last pregnancy.

Today:

Yogurt & Fiber One

A Big Mac and Fries

2 huge waffles, bacon AND scrambled eggs

(And we wonder why I am fitting so well into maternity clothing.)

ANOTHER SATURDAY NIGHT

PLUS POINTS: Spending four to five hours on the windward beach of Oahu
Chasing your granddaughter in and out of the waves
Watching your grandson boogie-boarding further out than you could ever have imagined he would go
Sitting scrunched between a three year old and a six year old in the back seat of a mini-van

MINUS POINTS: 17 Diet Cokes
14 carrot-bread-type muffins with some incredible frosting on top
Four and a half pieces of Papa John pizza
One very large bowl of chocolate mint ice cream eaten in front of the television
(FYI here - food eaten while watching television adds 45% more calories while food eaten while reading a book takes away 35% of the calories and food eaten outside is calorie-free)

TOTAL POINTS: 0

SITTIN' ON THE DOCK OF THE BAY

Things that allow you to burn more calories while away from home:

- Having a three-year old granddaughter who simply does NOT stop moving for 14 hours of the day.

- A six-year grandson who always wants to show you something that is someplace other than where you are at the moment.

- Breathing in clean clear air straight off the ocean.

- Eating dinner only after smelling it for the previous two hours.

- And last (but by no means the least) being too embarrassed to hunt through your daughter's cabinets to see if there is 'anything else' to nibble on.

So far today:

Yogurt

Fiber One

A banana

Some chocolate

Sitting on the front porch reading "The Glass Castle"

TOTAL: Contentment.

PLUS AND MINUS

A Diet Coke is -4 points.
A regular Coke is -3 points.
A Diet Dr. Pepper is -8 points.
A Caffeine-Free Diet Dr. Pepper is -22 points.

Chocolate is +1 point.
Ice cream is +18 points.
Yogurt is - 18 points
(so if you eat them within three hours of each other, they cancel themselves out)

Milk is -8 points (calcium and all that).
Bottled Water is -18 points.
Tap Water is -12 points.

Sugar-Free Bubble Gum is -15 points.
Regular Bubble Gum is -5 points.
Sugar-Free Trident Spearmint is o points.

Cleaning the kitchen is -10 points.
Cleaning the bathroom is -40 points.
Cleaning the cat box is -12 points.

Falling asleep on the couch is +12 points.
Falling asleep in your bed with the lights out is -7 points.
Falling asleep in church is +132 points plus the chance of being struck by a lightening bolt.

So today:
- 4
-8
-18
+1
-12
-12
+132
______
+139