IT AIN'T COCAINE ADDITION, RIGHT?

I cannot live without chocolate.

I have tried, repeatedly, to swear it off. I have completely emptied the house of all traces of cocoa. I have gone literally MONTHS without chocolate.

It does no good. It is my nectar, my elixir.

Besides, I just eat more of other bad stuff.

Today: Yogurt, Dairy Queen, toast with peanut butter and more yogurt.


And did I ever mention I eat at least one carrot each and every single day? It is at least a gesture towards the five servings of fruits and veggies that we are supposed to consume every day - while I am feeding the horses theirs, I always munch on one.

And that should provide the counter-balance for the chocolate... right?

(Now, everyone in chorus, repeat after me... "YEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!")

REWARD FOR GOOD DEEDS

You know what is great about taking a friend to a doctor's appointment, which then turns into becoming the proverbial squeaky wheel for her case - tracking down an empty bed so she can be relieved of some of her pain - rounding up competent nurses and then a proficient physician - wheeling to and from x-rays - getting a good strong shot of crucial drugs and a prescription for enough pain killers to get her through the next two days until they figure out what is causing the excruciating pain - guilting a unoccupied solider and an unsuspecting husband into assisting you getting the justifiably stoned friend into and out of your vehicle and safely home ---- and THEN having to race to a church function and an additional hour long presidency meeting --- and last but not least coming home to unloaded groceries, unwashed dishes, unfed animals and unemptied garbage.....

You never have a chance to eat.

Today if nothing else has been a successful day for my diet.

SOMEBODY HELP ME OUT HERE

I'm trying to stay off the scales, and judge my weight by how I feel, how my not-at-all-skinny jeans fit, and how often I suck in my gut to tighten my belt.

But I figure, hey, it's been a while, let's see what the scales say.

And they say THE EXACT SAME NUMBERS THEY DID LAST TIME.

So I am sitting here with a bowl of chocolate trying to convince myself that I should remain true and faithful to yogurt and carrots and drinking lots and lots of non-caloric sodas.

TUG OF WAR

I lift weights - just not perhaps in traditional sense.


I have to lift my cat, Pandora, quite often - and he weighs 22 lbs. ... at least.

And I still weigh 202 lbs. regardless of my public humiliation blog, so when I stand up, I'm moving 202 lbs. (but what a depressing thought).

And today I played a major game of tug of war with a 1,000 lbs. horse. Well, actually, two horses, so I guess that lifting/pulling around 2,000 lbs., right?

The main problem is Najale. He knows he outweighs me, and while most of the time he is semi-well-behaved, when he sets his mind to it, he is fully aware that he can pull me right off my feet with just one sharp turn to the left.

Why it is always that he turns to the left? I don't know - maybe his lateral sulcus is longer than it should be. Or maybe it's simply because he normally walks on my left side, and to be the most disobedient, he has to turn that way.

Anyway, today became a major physical battle.

And that should at least excuse the peanut butter, right?

Otherwise -- 2 x yogurt -- 300
2 x Fiber One -- 120
Manwich -- 355
2 pieces of toast and peanut butter -- 130 + 376

TOTAL -- 1,281

AND AN OZ. OZ. HERE, AND A OZ. OZ. THERE....

I got my hair cut today - that should be at least three pounds off, right? I mean, I've got really heavy and thick hair, and she cut off quite a bit, so....

And I sweated a lot.... well, actually I didn't because a big rain storm blew in and cooled everything off. So I guess I can't count that.

Hmm.. what about if I cut my toenails tonight?

Yogurt x 2 -- 300
Fiber One x -- 120
Dairy Queen -- 329
Manwich -- 355

TOTAL -- 1,104

Okay, should I try to get it around 900 and keep it below? Why isn't this weight MOVING?

CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN

Do you ever have days when everything just smells GREAT?

Today I got to hold a baby during sacrament meeting (youngest of six kids - I try to help out the mom when I can), and he smelled just that sweet baby smell that little ones have... at least until they poop.

During Sunday School, the two women sitting back of me just gave out waves of... not perfume, just shampoo and soap and maybe Tide detergent.

I taught the last hour of church - and the 12 and 13 year old girls have a scent of bubble gum, girlie shampoos, and some sort of sweet lip gloss that they all share.

And then I spent a half hour in a crowded room of Latter-Day Saints all getting called and confirmed to various church responsibilities - and it just was the aroma of lots of business suits and white shirts and women with that same shampoo/soap/Tide fragrance.

Latter-Day Saints smell very clean.

So next time I want to smell chicken soup and seasoned french fries and fresh bread and so BE NOT HUNGRY ALL DAY.

Today -
2 x yogurt -- 300
2 x Fiber one -- 120
ONE piece of toast and peanut butter -- 130 + 376
1/2 Premium Select Moose Tracks Chocolate Mint ice cream -- 400

(but listen, you gotta appreciate the fact that my husband INSISTED on ME having 'his' ice cream - and I only are a HALF. Enormous self-control on my part - ENORMOUS, people)

TOTAL -- 1,326

(Okay, so maybe I could have done with the ice cream. Let's just hope my son fills his part of the bargain and eats the last half)

AN ICE CREAM DAY

It just takes one thing to set me off on a trail.

Friday it was a Frosty at Wendy's.

Which was followed by Dairy Queen - and then my husband brought home that Premium Select Moose Tracks Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream.

Plus he FORGOT TO PUT IT IN THE FREEZER.

I don't know about anyone else, but soupy ice cream 1) doesn't refreeze well, and 2) I absolutely ADORE.

I am atoning for it today.

So - Friday
Frosty -- 318
Dairy Queen - 329
the ENTIRE pint Premium Select Moose Tracks Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream -- 800

TOTAL -- 1,447

Hey, that's not that bad.

But today --
French Toast -- 298
Bacon -- 92
Popcorn (went and saw Harry Potter again) -- 200
Yogurt x 2 -- 300
Fiber One x 2 -- 120

TOTAL -- 1,010

Man, I should have just had another ice cream day.